I havent felt like updating this lately. Not much has gone on but at the same time alot has.

I have a job now. I work at the car dealership my sister works at from 4-9. Today is my first day and Im really scared. Im going to be a cashier and have to answer phones plus other random stuff. All of which I have zero experience in. All Ive ever done was clean cars and I hated dealing with some of the customers because they were so rude. I was just thinking about my old job yesterday and how even the ppl I worked with were assholes. From the very start they were all sexist jerks. I remember in training the guy kept making me stand there and watch the guys try and wouldnt give me a chance, then told the ppl in charge that I suck at it. And Nikki and I would always have to do everything while the guys got to stand around and talk and if we even tried talking to each other we would get yelled at. Man do I not miss that job. Im kinda excited about the one I got now tho cuz I can tell it will not be like that. Everyone seemed really nice when I went for the interview Friday and there were plenty of girls. Im sure all with go well, I just cant help being scared.

Aside from that Im pretty angry with the world lately. Like way more than usual. Its disgusting how horrible people are. I think everyone needs to watch "Pay It Forward".

Oh and Watchmen fucking sucked. And Camilla Bell or w.e. her name is looks like she can be Joe Jonas' twin sister. gross.

Hello. Long time no update. Nothing much going on, just a few random little things.

My sisters job is hiring and she told her boss to hire me. Im kinda mad that its from 4 to 9 three days a week and some Saturdays but I need a job. All I got to say is that if this interferes with Monsters of Folk or my birthday... theres going to be hell to pay! I should have to rearrange my schedule and miss out on life, Im not the one who had a baby.

I was gonna get that tattoo with Yvette sometimes after this weekend but I dont have enough money. Rickys birthday is coming up and my mom made me give her present money today. Plus I was thinking, I kinda wanna add shading to it so it can have kinda a brown tint to it. Idk, that idea just came up last night. This is why I cant have major changes in my life. I put way to much thought into everything, which I guess is a good thing.

I came to the conclusion that Im never going to be at peace with the whole friendship thing. Theres always going to be someone I question. Wish it wasnt so but it is. I just dont get why its so hard to just be who you really are. Im really happy with the people I surround myself with tho.

Ashley, Ria, and I are starting a "band". Its going to be very, Millionaires. I think we are calling ourselves the Billionaires? I gotta check on that. Also even tho Ria and Ashley do actually play instruments... we are not bringing any instrumental skills to the table. Nor are we actually writing our own lyrics.

Kidding.

Im actually really disgusted with music these days. Honestly, I just wanna like monopolize the music industry and make it awesome. Not gonna happen. The people who like the crap are just as bad. I really liked some random kids idea on absolutepunk. They said someone should run up on stage and steal the mic from one of the lip singing bands. How funny would that be?! If only I had the balls... and a ticket.

I officially have nothing to look forward to this summer. I mean yeah theres Fireworks and possibly Warped Tour but to be quite honest, theres no way that can live up to CO&MVB or Brand New.

Last night was amazing by the way. It was really annoying though because the crowd was pretty much there to see Bright Eyes. Come on people, they are on their second album, you should know by now that this is totally something different from Bright Eyes. I just feel really bad cuz the rest of the band has to deal with that crap all the time and its not like they arent talented themselves. I think thats what makes their shows 10 times more amazing than anything else, they way they interact and play off each others vibe. Its breathtaking really.

Afterwards Yvette and I raced to see Harry Potter. I havent read any of the books, Im all about watching the movies. Im too lazy I guess, but Ill get around to it one day. Anyways, wow... way to make me cry. I was at the point where I wasnt holding back from crying, it was way to late for that, I had to hold back from completely breaking down and sobbing. Gahh! like really, REALLY?! you fucking bastard! Ugh! I knows its all fake but still!

Anyways, lets make plans. Im gonna be super bored. Not this weekend tho, Im going to visit Nikki. And not during the day cuz I babysit. And fyi, I do not know what time till. It varies and i dont find out until my mom actually walks through the door.

I'm super annoyed right now. I'm not saying the idea of aliens being out there is a lie. I totally agree, somethings gotta be out there. But if your job is to prove that, please be more convincing. I mean, if you got someone who believes saying your theories are stupid there's a problem. I just watched "ancient aliens" on the history channel and some of the stuff they said was just stupid. We aren't that unique, especially considering how many people there are. I know someone out there is probably sitting here writing about the same thing as me at this very second. To be shocked that two different places in the world made something that represented the alignment of the planets is stupid. So is saying that the west didn't even know the sun was the center yet. We may think we know everything but there's just so much history that could have been lost or un-documented that we can't say forsure. I'm just appalled that finding out something like that doesn't lead some people to think maybe their first theory was wrong, instead their first thought is aliens must have done it. Just like how some guy drew an accurate map of the world but "antarctica wasn't discovered yet" and a few other placed were explored for another 300 years. Maybe we are wrong. I don't know enough about all the stuff they talked about to say my ideas are right I'm just trying to say they make way more sense than automatically pinning it on aliens.

I haven't updated in a while. I think? Mostly cuz I have too much to say. I'm just gonna cut most of it tho cuz to be quite honest I don't think anyone cares anyway.

I'm very excited for the next 2 weeks. I don't want them to pass yet tho. Like with the last 2 week, I spent so much time anticipating and it ended so quickly. I hate the day after. For pretty much everything awesome that happens, the day after blows.

I use "tho" to much.

There's a possibility Ricky is gonna be the coolest kid in his kindergarden class this year. I might take him to the atl show Tuesday but I'm not sure yet. He's technically 5 and I've seen kids at shows before, I'd just feel weird standing there with him. I don't know, I really wanna go but that's the only way I can.

Btw, happy 4th of july everyone. Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite american pride songs.


I want to pledge allegiance to the country where I live
I don't want to be ashamed to be American
But opportunity no, it don't exist
It's the opiate of the populace
We need some harder shit now
The truth is getting around
And each public school is a halfway house
Where the huddled masses sober up and up enough There's not enough to fatten the cows
And feed all of us
It's just a rationing of luck
What can't be bought gets raffled off
Oh God good God shed greed on thee
Your shining sea turned a dirty green
From the industry off the shores of New Jersey
I got a letter from the army
So I think that I'll enlist
I'm not brave or proud of nothing
I just want to kill something
Too bad that now-a-days you just point and click Swing low satellite
Hot white chariot
In the computer's blue glare
The bombs burst in the air
There was a city once now nothing is there
Our freedom comes at their expense
It makes sense, does it? Dollars and cents
They're stretching barbed wire across the picket fence
That is surrounding your housing development
Just in case you lack the confidence
Oh God my God give strength to thee
These amber waves purple majesty
Are nothing but backdrops for Disney
We'll look up close
It is superimposed on a blank blue screen
It is fantasy fucking magical
The dreams floats like a chemical
Through each snapped synapse our television past That is beautiful no more no more


This worlds a piece of shit.
True facts.

Summerfest was a blast! Went to see Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band with Yvette and wow!

Honestly, they were beyond amazing. I know I say this alot but I think Im going to void all those other times Ive said this about different bands to emphasize how incredibly true it is. I know, it took me alot to say that. All those other bands are good and incredibly awesome but this, it was magic. Pure fucking magic.

Im so glad Yvette was there to see it with me. And the guys behind us, made "Ten Women" the song of the night.

I could spend the rest of eternity watching them play.

heyy friends! so you know that "love and faith" shirt i always wear? or the "respect yourself, respect each other" one?
you know you want one!
so go buy one, or a diff one... they have a bunch of new shirts. v-necks, tanks, and hoodies.


and enter the code for a discount.  "Sylwia0801"

Went to see Year One with Yvette yesterday. It was funny... at times. If Michael Cera wasn't in it tho, it would have sucked. I noticed that with a lot of his movies. Agree or not, I'm just saying, Superbad was stupid. The main guy is not funny, he's just really obnoxious and kinda an asshole. Nick and Norahs Infinitve Playlist was basically him being funny and some chick being annoying. Juno was funny so high five there. People should start giving him lead roles instead of supporting roles.
The funniest thing of the whole night had to be the previews tho. Beat the whole movie. So this Peter Jackson movie preview was on and it started with what looked to be a documentary about some random country in the middle east or something. It looked like it was gonna be meaningful and motivate the world into action and then a fucking alien pops out. The movie was called District 6 I believe. The funny part was when Yvette was like "Seriously?! I was ready to donate" right about then I pretty much died of laughter..

This weather has been quite shitty. Ive been waking up to what I think is us being attacked, not even kidding thats always my first thought, and its just thunder. Outrageous thunder. This past week has been going by fast but at the same time not fast enough. Im so ready for next Thursday. Ive decided Im gonna see The Mystic Valley band over Rise Against. Im just not into their new cd. Yvettes coming with me so Im super stoked!

I dig this:

Hanging out with Yvette is so much fun. She taught me so much about Bob Dylan lately that I just wanna shake his hand and be like "wow mister, your awesome". I can really see a lot of him in Conor. Summerfest is going to be awesome. And I really hate the song "Please Mrs. Henry" so even though I already know he dont play it, I just wanna mention that I hope he doesnt. ;]

Ive also decided Im going to start using reverse psychology from now on.

I wanna get a tattoo on my wrist. Its something I drew myself and its inspired by one of my favorite songs, Four Winds. Im to much of a pussy to follow through on this tho. I thought about it alot and I realize all my other ideas were kinda lame, except the balloon one. Only thing with that is that it was supposed to represent a bunch of ppl I dont talk to anymore. But I guess Im at this age now where Im not gonna make stupid choices based on whats cool. If you all know me, you will know I HATE when people get shitty cliche tattoos that dont mean anything to them. Sadly I know someone like that and its so UGH! But yeah, Four Winds means alot to me and I relate. Like with other ideas I had Id totally regret right now but with this idea I just dont see how I would. Its not just a song, its poetry about existence.

Ive giving myself the deadline of mid July because Im to broke to afford a trip to Kentucky and two trips to Summerfest AND a tattoo all in one month. But if I dont do it by then, I dont think I ever will.

I never realized how much I rely on demos. They just seem to have more heart and soul than album versions.

3 demos I refuse to part with because they are better than the album version...

"Closet Weather"- Fireworks
"The Tension and the Terror"- Straylight Run
"The Taste the Touch"-Asteria


In other news, can we please fast forward to June 25th?

I'm really getting over having nothing but bad dreams all week. Last nights dream was about me driving through a regular suburban town and then next thing you know I'm riding my bike. That happens a lot. Anyway, there were all these turns and before I knew it I was lost. I ended up on the edge of a forest so I turned back and then kept ending up on cornfields. I have never been so scared of a cornfield in my life! I asked some farmer for help but it didn't really work out cuz there were more cornfields but finally I found the small town and then I woke up.

I wonder what's next.

I'm excited for tonight cuz its Marias graduation. Plus I haven't seen them in a long time. I just wish it was time to go already but this days going by slow.

So Straylight Run yesterday at subt was AMAZING. I'm so glad Jessika and I went. They played a bunch of new and old songs which was really cool and closed with "Hand in the Sky Big Shot". I was sooo stoked on that song. Perfect way to end the set. They didn't play "The Tension and the Terror" but ppl in the crowd were shouting it so maybe they will come through next time. Jessika was right, it was good to see some quality music.

Ten times more excited for John Nolan at Beans Counters now!

I woke up this morning from a nightmare scared to death that it was real. My first thought was "what day is it? Please let it be Saturday so that I'm not home alone!" and then turned into "oh crap I'm home alone, besides Ricky, but I doubt there's killer robots outside my window."

It was such a scary dream. There was a robot outside my window waiting for me to kill me and it was totally one of those robots from Rickys Spiderman video game that has one of those flying things you stand on, like the Goblin. At first I went up to the window thinking if I pound on it then it will go away but it just pounded back at me. Then I hid behind a dresser trying to call someone cuz there was a bunch of them out there. My mom didn't see them and wouldn't stay with me. So I was pretty much alone with a bunch of robots that wanted to kill me.
Luckily I woke up. I still got one of those bad feelings for some reason.

Might be cuz right after that I heard tornado sirens and thought I was gonna then forreal die via tornado but they were just testing I guess.

What a morning.

Later tonight I'm hopefully gonna see Straylight Run. And I'm even more hopeful that they will play "tension and the terror". One of my favorite songs ever.

Nikkis surprise party was a success. Thankyou everyone who came.

Ps. Hold on to your memories.

I'm so sad right now.
Like when Nikki first told me she's moving I avoided crying or anything. Tonight we went to pass out stickers after she got off work at the Go Radio show and Becky started crying which made Nikki cry and then bam... I was a goner.
Nikki was the first and only real friend I've had in this neighborhood and in high school. Its not gonna be the same with her all the way in Michigan.
You better not forget about me the way everyone else did!

There are a few situations in my life that everytime I'm in them the same song plays in my head. They aren't necessarily good but they are there. Now you will know what I'm thinking if I'm with you for any of the following.

Like when I'm driving and in a hurry to get somewhere or just want to ppl to move:
Move Bitch by Ludacris.

When I'm waiting:
E.I. By Nelly
Specifically the "Andele andele mami, E.I. E.I.
Uh-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" part.

When times going by sooooo slow:
The thing from the Gwen Stefani video where she's sitting in front of the piano bored and its just like "time goes by so slowly..."

When I wake up in the morning:
I woke up with this song in my head this morning by Bright Eyes.
I don't mind this one tho.
There's more I just can't think of them all now but hey, ill just post those next time.